Time to reflect. I have gotten a lot of interesting and motivating comments and messages sent to me relating my blog. This one was sent yesterday, which made me want to comment.
“It is easy to be loved when one’s young, when employed, when healthy… when beautiful, when blond, when twenties, when wealthy. Actually one of the hardest thing for wealthy people is to find out who their real friends are. Who are the people around them, friends or beneficiaries of their wealth?”
Thank you for sharing! Several thoughts are coming to me as I read this and I am going to dissect this a little bit.
It is easy based on the look of things to assume that someone is young, healthy and wealthy. It is easy to assume that “love is easily accessible for them, but not for me”.
What does that assumption serve? Who is really talking – you or your gremlin? I would say that it is a limiting belief by the gremlin that would cut you short by listening to it. So please don’t. Open up for love. It is here for all of us!
And would it make a difference if that one person in reality were getting closer to the forties, gray hair and unemployment? Or is it the attitude and energy that the person is radiating that is of importance?
From that perspective I do agree on most of your points – it is probably easier to be loved when one is young, employed, healthy, beautiful and wealthy. Let me clarify my definitions when I say that: Young in mind. Employed by something you enjoy. Leading a healthy life. Beautiful soul. Wealthy at heart. We all can strive towards that.
Talking about Friends and Wealth…
I can’t personally relate to your example – but I have seen with my own eyes examples of friends disappearing when personal success or health is gone. It may be difficult – but it is the remaining friends that matter. This is another way to look at it:
To have a friend is great. But, to be a friend is the most helpful thing anyone can be. In doing so, the one who is being the friend is also the one who is for sure enjoying the friendship.
What is wealth to you? To me, being financially astute whatever amount of funds you have is far more desirable and attractive than being rich. I am not denying that money helps, but it is not the most important thing. “Rich is a matter of the heart”, as the artist and painter from La Jolla, California, Sally Huss expressed. I just visited her website, and would love to share some happy musings of hers:
What Real Wealth Looks Like
“The accumulation of wealth looks a lot like a gathering of friends.”
Better than a friend is a group of friends, the more the merrier. To gather friends is a great art. Dennis Wood is such an artist. Although Dennis has never met a stranger, he has also never met a person who was not his friend.
Dennis came to work for our company 20 years ago. It didn’t matter what he was asked to do, he figured out how to do it and do it well. But one of the best things that Dennis figured out how to do was make friends. Everyone who worked for us loved Dennis. The suppliers loved Dennis. The customers loved Dennis. UPS and Mail Clerks loved Dennis. There was not a place where Dennis went that he didn’t leave a trail of friends.
There was another interesting thing about Dennis. He had a key ring filled with keys. He was in charge of a lot of things, but there were more keys than there were things to be in charge of. The keys hung on Dennis’ belt and made their presence known as Dennis walked about.
There always seemed to me to be a correlation between the many keys and the many friends. I thought perhaps that Dennis had many answers, therefore many keys to creating friends. Maybe it was just one key – Dennis, who knew that being a friend first guaranteed that the other person in the equation was automatically captured. In this way they became a part of his inner key ring – the one around his heart.
Dennis has moved on to his own endeavors, but we are still attached with hardly a beat skipped, even though we may not speak with each other for months at a time. Dennis is one of the wealthiest people I know. And he makes me wealthier myself for having him as a friend.
Count Your Friends, Count Your Assets
“Your friends are your assets. Guard them well.”
Friends are assets whose values are unknown. But they are assets for sure. I remember reading a story of a man of great wealth who lost everything he had in the great depression of 1939. At the moment the market crashed and he realized all his money was gone he remembered he had friends – and he had an idea.
Horseracing had become legal again in America and he wanted to build the finest racing establishment in the country. He no longer had financial assets, so no banks would loan him money. Instead, he took his idea and began knocking on friends’ doors. Many were not interested, but a few were, including the famous crooner Bing Crosby and the owner of one of the top racing stables, William Howard. Monies were gathered. Ranch land was purchased near the San Gabriel Mountains in California . And the magnificent Santa Anita Racetrack was created. It has been one of the primer racetracks for over 60 years and enjoyed by millions of people during that time. It came into being because a man with an idea had as his only assets, friends.
“You can find something beautiful anywhere you look, if you are looking for something beautiful.”
I remember long ago in Psychology 101 my teacher explaining how a need or intention alerted the subconscious to bring to the forefront those things that fulfilled that need or intention. The example he gave at that time was that if you were driving along a highway and became hungry, you would continually notice restaurants along the way. Naturally, that’s an easy one and one that we have all experienced. But, in the same way you can find something beautiful anywhere you look, if you are looking for something beautiful.
Right now, it is very important to look for something beautiful, something positive, something uplifting. These things are everywhere. The intention sets your sifting mechanism and the things you are looking for will be found. There is much to see and much to distract us from the better things in life. Sometimes those distractions are of the coarsest, loudest and most unseemly of things available in our realm. But we can make adjustments — change channels, change stations, change locations, change friends. As we do, we make way for the beautiful things.
The really good things are the subtle things, the sweet things, the things that lift our spirits. We need to look for them. They are there in our surroundings whether those surroundings are of nature or are filled with high rises and people.
This idea of looking for something beautiful must also be applied to ourselves. How important is it that we see our own beauty? Very. Not that we created it, but we can certainly appreciate it and find it by looking for it.
I knew a woman once who was brimming with self-appreciation. She and her husband ran a popular restaurant in Palm Desert, California. She was just beautiful! Yet her face was covered with wrinkles. She was a great skier, tennis player and swimmer and obviously, lover of the sun. Not one wrinkle covered her beauty. I always admired her because she was as she was, which was an exception to the local women who tended to try to correct every “blemish” with cosmetic surgery. Yes, it was easy to see this woman’s beauty, even if you were not looking for it.
When I look in the mirror, I could see only the wrinkles on my face. But then, I would miss the light in my eyes or the underlying beauty of the life that is within that is forever working towards well-being. So, I honor that life by smiling at this hidden beauty.
You can always find something beautiful anywhere you look, if you are looking for something beautiful because it is looking for you.
How To Get Your Man (or Woman)
“If you wish to have a love in your life, because you wish you will. And because you know this is true, smile until you do.”
There are too many people out there without a close friend or a loved one in their life. Yet as life on the outside gets tougher, colder and more demanding, the needs of the heart become even greater.
We all need warmth and we need to share our warmth. The sun in the sky warms us on the outside, of course, but it is the sun on the inside that really warms us. It is the sun in our own hearts that likes to shine, expand and share its contents. It also likes to receive the same. Why not? That’s the way we are constructed. A heart is not meant to languish. It needs to be used and exercised. Love is the answer.
Why are there so many people without love in their lives? Too busy? No! Too disconnected? No! Too discouraged? No! Too unworthy? Not really! Too afraid of rejection or being hurt? Not buying it! It is forgetfulness!! They’ve just forgotten how to use the heart. Again, love is the answer.
Love first and all good things will come to you, including that special person to be in love with. That’s the thing: be in love right here, right now.
What about love? Love is that effervescent feeling that wafts from the heart, leaving you on top of the world and better for it. The beauty of the heart is that it is so close. Open its door and let the contents spill out. Practice on small things like a flower, a peach, a dog, then move to grander targets like a walk on the beach, a starry sky, or a heavenly concert. Beyond this, that love can grow to all sorts of things and all sorts of people, until the whole day is filled with love.
Not only is the heart close, but it is in the center of a person, more precisely, is the center of a person. So, as a person loves, he or she benefits by its emanations first and foremost. Those vibrations go through the loving person on the way to something or someone outside. That’s how to be in love. Create your own ocean of this good stuff. Let it fill every nook and cranny of yourself and then spill out to all that is around you. At that point your special person, who is meant just for you, can’t help but show up. He or she will be caught up in the stream and whirled into sight.
So there, go ahead, be in love now, and then you’ll be ready to truly be in love with. Because you know this is true, smile until you do!
Much love to you all!
Love your blog. “You can find something beautiful anywhere you look, if you are looking for something beautiful.”
Your piece on frends is just what many people need. New perspective :-).
You make me want to write myself a lot more.
hope to see you one day, maybe in Greece?
Jacek, Earth Dragon Ldshp tribe
Jacek – thank you for reading my blog. I am happy to hear that you enjoy it and that it inspired you to write more – please do!
Leadership conference in Greece is a possibility. I hope I will be able to showcase something by then…
All the best,