The below is a handout I received in Leadership. It followed a great group exercise that really brought home the message. Recently I have been referring to it in conversations with clients and friends – I hope it will serve you too…
A FIXER – A HELPER – A SERVER
A fixer has the illusion of being causal.
A server knows he or she is being use
in the service for something greater,
We serve always the something:
wholeness and the mystery of life.
Fixing and helping are the work of the ego.
Serving is the work of the soul.
When you help, you see life as week.
When you fix, you see life as broken.
When you serve, you see life as whole.
Fixing and helping may cure.
When I help, I feel satisfaction.
When I serve, I feel gratitude.
Fixing is a form of judgment.
Serving is a form of connection.
In this context – what is your pattern? Are you a fixer, a helper or a server? Do you choose to help because someone has asked you to? Or what is really the driver? There is a difference in-between helping someone who ask for it, verses helping someone because you think s(he) needs it.
As Rachel Naomi Remen expands on it “When we help we may inadvertently take away from people more than we could ever give them, we may diminish their self-esteem, their sense of worth, integrity and wholeness.” Read her full reprint “In the Service of Life” from the Noetic Sciences Review by clicking here.
However – in life, and business, it may be very powerful to ask for help. It may even be key to get ahead and get things done. It may be the perfect way when it comes to starting a business. I stumbled on an article this morning in Huffington Post by Tanja Aitamurto, a Silicon Valley-based Finnish writer: Woman: How To Start a Business Without Money. “According to my observations, the older and the more successful the women are, the more likely they are to share their knowledge and the less hesitant they are to ask for help. Also, they seem to integrate fun and friends with work more often than we younger women do.” Not only women do it. An example is Chris Lindland from Cordarounds, who traded pants and meals for web design and ads. Read the article for more juice.
Bottomline: The door to success is to ask for help when you need to. And serve others.