In the moment of leaving Sweden after my fathers passing sadness came over me. Sitting in the airplane, sending a last text message to my mom thanking for the ride to the airport and expressing my love and support to her the tears came to my eyes. The crying came like a wave over me and I was doing my best to hide it sitting by the window and breath through it – but it’s not easy to be quiet when you are hulking like a baby trying to get air…
Stillness came. Thoughts, impressions and memories of the last 7 weeks flashed by. And then emptiness. I tried to think ahead, what is waiting in San Francisco, start the creation of a new business… During the whole process of my fathers last weeks, the energy was still high, or constant, the ideas for the future came left and right – I was sharing some of them with my dad and he said “That is great, if you can make it happen”. Now I could see all the ideas, people, possible partners, supporters, meetings etc in a distance – knowing the existence – but there was no energetic connection.
I pulled myself together, wiped by eyes, took a deep breath and glanced to the right – there was a couple sitting next to me. I noticed and thought: “Interesting – she is using The Book”. And then I fell asleep. That helped.
The couple sitting next to me turned out to be teachers in music and preschool from the northern part of Sweden, currently working with music and cafeteria for the Swedish Church in New York, living in the top of the same building at East 48th and 5th avenue. They had done similar jobs over the summer breaks a few times at other places in Europe, and thought it would be an interesting break with 2 years on Manhattan… I love it. I’m sure their story inspires other people to do something similar if the interest is there. Break out from the normal rythm for a period – so life enriching, and totally possible.
I had to ask about that Book. The Book that is the inspiration to my software idea. I have heard about it, I have seen it in the stores, I have used it, I have given it away – but I haven’t seen anyone actually use it. Maybe because you prefer to do it in your own private space. “Oh – my husband gave it to me before I got pregnant with our first child, and now I have used it every day for over 30 years! I am so picky about the one I buy, so last time I wrote on blank sheets for almost six months before I found a version that I liked and meet my needs”. A smile came to my face and I felt a little candle was lit. I told her about my idea, and she said “Funny that you say that – while writing today the thought came to me for the first time: How would it be if I wrote this on a computer”. I choose to claim: it’s a sign.
Layover in Newark and I had to charge my iPhone. Somehow I got contact with the guy at the power station who was just about done charging his Mac Book. Since mine was out of battery and the family’s dear puppy had bitten the power cord in two pieces, I kindly asked to borrow his for a few minutes. Another fellow Swedish traveler in need came and asked if he may borrow the USB port in my computer to charge his phone. And sure – life is about give and take – it all works out in the end! My savior was the drummer for Rob Thomas, on the way to tour Australia. When he heard I came from Sweden he got a dream like expression on his face with a big smile and said “Memories from Sweden…” They had played at a MTV Europe Gala at Hilton in Stockholm a few years ago. I know Sweden is outstanding. Still – it is not the first time I see that expression on a guys face thinking back to the visit in Sweden like if it was heaven on earth. It makes me feel like there is something I am missing…
During the small hours at home I woke up early due to jetlag and thought – who is that Rob Thomas anyway? Smiling when I found out – I’m so funny – I love music, it moves me, I promote it, sing it, listen to it, dance to it – it makes me high – still: I don’t mean to be ignorant, but I don’t know many of the artists or groups names. Must be information overflow or something. But who hasn’t danced to “Smooth” – Gimme your heart, make it real, Or else forget about it…
When searching on youtube I found another sweet song by Rob Thomas: Little Wonders.
Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don’t you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in
Let your clarity define you
In the end
You will only just remember how it feels
Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours
These small hours
Let it slide
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you
And I don’t mind
If it’s me you need to turn to
We’ll get by
It’s the heart that really matters in the end
What are the little wonders in your day, if you think about it?