Loving Life Blog

Spur of the Moment Reflections

Love Shower November 19, 2010


Have you ever gotten a Love Shower? It is a pretty nice experience. I guess you could give it different names. Appreciation Shower. Acknowledgement Shower. You can do it one-on-one, or in group. Privately or publicly. You can do it in different occasions. Situations I have seen it in are:

  1. During a personal growth workshop
  2. At the end of a group project
  3. At birthdays
  4. During a relationship
  5. At a wedding
  6. By the deathbed
  7. During a funeral

It is like the absolute feel good movie Validation (do you remember – did you see it?) – but more focused and concentrated and times 10. Or times 100.

Imagine sitting in a circle with 10 people who you know to a more or less extent. Your task is to sit quietly and receive while looking into the eyes of the person who speaks. The others task is to one by one express what they love and appreciate about you. The strengths they see. How you have contributed. How you impact them. The gifts you have.

It can be extremely powerful. It can be quite surprising. They can call on things you were absolutely not aware of. They can call on things that are totally contradictory to your own inner critic. (Inner gremlins in life coach terms). It can make a positive mark for life that you can forever lean on.

Imagine standing in a circle of 100 students with whom you have participated in a global international conference. Your task is to write on three different pieces of paper a message to three different people, fold it and walk over and give it to them, so that they can bring with them home to their country as a memorable takeaway.

You can make a friend for life.  Maybe someone feels like they have a friend for life.

I can give many more examples. Bottom line: you touch people deeply. You make people feel good. Appreciate themselves more. Be more aware of their strengths and their impact.

What if you, or we, do that more often. What if we by doing that shift a “bottom low” situation to “raise to the top”. Maybe leaving on a high.

Bring this ritual to that set of situations:

  1. Relationship breakup
  2. Divorce
  3. Lay-off

What if you would leave something that could be very sad and heavy, with a high head and warm heart, knowing that this past epoch had many valuable memories, made a difference to someone or something and you were part of it. And it is something you can bring with you and do again.

What if the mandatory SOX procedure in HR for all companies was to have a Team Power Shower annually in addition to the occasion of anyone leaving, for any reason.

I think I just came up with another business idea. I know – it sounds a little flower power and out there. But I live in California after all. And why do we do these things? Because we can. And because it has great impact.

Who are you going to give a loving power shower next?

I would like to end with the expression that Tim Nichols at the Hub Soma (where change to to work) uses in the member distributed emails:

Of everyone who read this, I like you the best.

With love,

Johanna

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6 Responses to “Love Shower”

  1. Laura Says:

    Johanna, this simple act of sharing what we love about someone has created a lot of meaning in my own life. When I first participated in a low shower with you and your friends at your birthday party last year, I was touched by the sharing of nice words and sentiments about you and inpsired that such an easy exercise could so quickly and easily connect our group. We all went around in a circle and told others what we loved about you. Of couse, it was great to hear what others se as your strengths and to let you know that I loved, and have always loved about you — your grace, your talent and your friendship.

    I always remembered this love shower and took it upon myself to shower my sister and her husband with love at their wedding this summer. At the reception, I asked the wedding planner to distribute cards to each table asking, “What do you love about Michelle?” and “What do you love about Dave?” The DJ then read all of the remarks out loud. It was awesome to hear what other friends and family love about my sister and brother-in-law. One friend commented that this was one of the few weddings where she could actually FEEL the love. I totally felt it, too.

    Thank you for sharing your love shower idea with others via your blog. This is a powerful tool to chip away at cynicism and resignation and create love.

    You are loved,

    Laura
    **********
    Where are you not taking action? Who can you reach out to today?

    • That is a great way of doing that at a wedding! I can see how it makes you ‘feel’ the love.

      The version I had in mind was when my close friend Karin got married. Her friends from Germany couldn’t attend, so her brother had interviewed them and made a really nice, fun and personal video that was shared at the wedding and given to Karin as a gift/memory.

      I do remember my birthday as well. Erik and Cynthia put me on the spot there. 🙂 I think some other participants too, since there was quite a few new friends. Still – it had a great impact, and especially in the times of the change that had taken place.

      And you Laura is a great friend and a kick as entrepreneur who always move things forward. Authentic, reliable, solid. Love back at ya!

  2. Rolf Kenmo Says:

    Well Johanna,

    you are on the right track. I like the word love shower. With a word it is easier to remember and handle such a tool. For me it is one of the best in the toolbox Positive thinking (look in my book Let the Personality Bloom). One of my exercises in team development is to give feedback how the members of the team perceive themselves and then how the other members perceive them. There is normally some differences and when all words in the exercise is positive – powerful things happen. Moreover, the words are written on a paper so you can use it as a “praise bank”, which is very useful, when you need support…

    At last – Remember to have a valuebased self-esteem, i.e. “it is OK that you exist”, you don’t need to perform something in order to motivate your existence on earth… (perform-based self-esteem;-(

    • That is an interesting point about value vs perform based self-esteem. It’s pretty fascinating what all of us contribute without really doing anything more then being naturally present. Naturally someone may calm down, make people comfortable, others might lighten up the situation, or bring the interesting conversation, or the totally unexpected perspective to the table… without really ‘performing’. All qualities serves a purpose.

      The Co-Active Leadership program through CTI has developed and use a great model for that (typing), and it’s of great value in teamwork and co-creation when you can identify and leverage the strengths that each person naturally has (rather than focusing on the shortcomings).

      Going through that exercise there makes you (me) look at the world with other eyes. Really – are you aware of what gems your team members sit on? Are they operating from the “BOX” they have been put in, or are you leveraging their natural talents to the fullest?

      Thanks Rolf for chiming in! Will revisit your book! 🙂

  3. Beva Says:

    “Shower the people you love with love, show them the way that you feel”…you go girl. Love hearing your voice and watching your heart unfold. xo Beva

  4. Thalia Says:

    The grace and love you bring with yourself that make any space so gracious, loveable and wanting to be with. May I continue to witness how you just unfold to yourself and to us into the core of yourself and the world around. May you just know joy, love happiness and health. love you Thalia


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