Loving Life Blog

Spur of the Moment Reflections

Time to Steal Second Base! October 30, 2009

Late night and I am reading an email from Simple Truths promoting a book with motivational quotes… and there is a selection of the 20 best.  I stripped it down to 3 – for clear reasons they spoke to me right now:

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.~Henry Ford

Makes me think back to the leadership program where we did a number of exercises that required true teamwork, creativity and persistence. Whether the task was to figure out the rules and each time we broke one we had to start over, or the rules were laid out loud and clear but the task was very difficult and each time we broke one rule we had to start over – the spoken word was “begin again!”; and that’s what we did.  (It’s like in yoga when meditating – as soon as your mind starts wondering away you tell yourself “Thinking!” and get back to focus on the breathing). Back to base line. The amount of energy that was created in the process was huge; all derived from the wanting to figure it out, to reach the finish line and make it happen. We had a purpose. And doing it over and over again creates a pattern – there wasn’t even a thought of failure – it was just a little recap and thinking and on it again! With that attitude you will reach the finish line.

You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.~Wayne Gretsky

I haven’t come across this quote before, but a close friend of mine just told it to me an hour ago. With other words, as my father said on the phone this morning: you can’t win if you don’t try.

Progress always involves risks. You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.~Frederick B. Wilcox

That is so true. That quote brings me back to a couple of years ago when I wrote a proposal for a new responsibility structure for my group at work. I can smile at it now, but I was a little concerned thinking, “If I give all of these responsibilities away to my proposed direct report – what will I then do?” Did I make myself jobless? No. Did I get my plate full? Yes, and more than. Was there growth? Plenty. Was there risk? Probably not as much as I thought. But the lesson is still there – had I not created time and space by delegating responsibilities – or leaving the first base – there wouldn’t have been room to take on new responsibilities and expand the horizon with those. Which first base are you sticking to although you are long past due to move on? What is stopping you? How big is the risk really? What would the worst case look like if it didn’t work out?

You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first… my tired slightly creative mind imagine the scenario of leaving the first base, full force forward – and then half way to second base pops this question up – then what?  What if you don’t know the rules of the game? Because I clearly don’t. My friend’s comment pops up in my mind from when we played tennis in Budapest 1993 “but Johanna – this isn’t ballet” [I was just reaching with the racquet for the ball, but apparently in a ballerina fashion]… which turned my imaginary scenario into a dance – free dance. What if you really would apply the principle of Nia, to dance your body’s way? To create from nothing… or from your own core. Then it will end up like a lesson with my legendary ever so energetic and enthusiastic statistic professor from Stockholm School of Economics, who would give us a lesson on derivatives, and very involved fill the black board writing this extremely long formula from top left to bottom right three times over that magically will end up with the solution. Tada! All the students will sit there with big eyes, quietly and frenetically trying to capture everything he says and write. And Professor Håkan Lyckeborg will always end up with a big smile, turn to the students and say “Isn’t that beautiful!?” Like magic. I like it. And I do need sleep – that is important!

Last day tomorrow as full time employee. It’s time to gradually leave the first base and create space for a new. A new.

Join me on the joy ride! At least The Ride. I’ll be happy to join yours (as a cheering, loving, kick-ass coach down in the corner)!
Hold tight!
Johanna

By the way – stealing the second base was not what we ended up doing after that I posted on Facebook that Keeva was looking for bases… But we did find two great bass singers – come and hear them at the concert tomorrow!

Date: Friday, October 30th
Time: 7:30 PM to 9:30 PM

Place: Noe Valley Ministry, 1021 Sanchez Street at 23rd, San Francisco
Price: Free for folks in costume; suggested $7 donation for all others
Food: Various tricks and treats will be available

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Risen From the Dead October 3, 2009

Filed under: coaching,Health,Inspiration — Johanna C. Nilsson @ 12:22 pm
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“I am in a dead man’s pose – not by choice. I agree that relaxation is important. We take too little time to do that in our everyday living. However, what is the recommendation for the opposite situation? When you are stuck in a “dead man” situation and can’t move out of it? Is there a…pose?…for getting yourself moving again? Energizing your brain? Stimulating your thinking to maximum creativity instead of numbness?”

This was a comment from Hannah on my previous postings “When Life Gets Busy” and “Dead Man Attracts Love“. There were 3 distinct actions that came to my mind as a response:

1. Stimulating the thinking – Yes! – The Artist Way

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron is a process that will unleash your creativity, and you can make it into a really nice routine. Read about the two basic tools here – they are 1. Morning Pages and 2. The Artist Date. I had heard about The Artist Way several times before, bought the book a couple of years ago, and kept seeing quotes from it (still do today) everywhere – during the passed spring a decided from curiosity to give it a shot – what could come out of it?

As often as I could I started the morning with making myself a cup of tea and a toast (or Wasa Hard bread with Swedish cheese!;), put some nice meditative music on in the back-ground, removed the blinds so I could see the sun rise over the skyline, and sat down comfortably in my reading chair by the window and wrote the 3 morning pages. You are supposed to just write whatever is on your mind, don’t stop and it doesn’t need to make sense, and what ever you write – you are not supposed to go back and read it. 3 pages. 12 weeks. Or however long you want; once you started you may want to continue.

The second tool is the Artist Date. Set a date with yourself once a week and do something that feeds your soul. It could be anything. Visit a museum, hike in the nature, enjoy a concert, paint a painting, cook food, dance on the roof… create a Burning Man Art Car! :O

All I know is – had I not gone through that process – this blog had not been created. Not that fast. 😉 I knew I wanted to do it – just not how and exactly about what. And voila! Here it is. What would come out from your creative self?

2. Self-Healing Ritual to get moving – Nia and the 5 Stages

Nia is an expressive workout and lifestyle practice that uses the body’s way to achieve physical, mental, emotional and spiritual fitness and well-being. It combines the grace and spontaneity of dance, the power and explosiveness of martial art and the stillness and concentration of yoga and tai chi. One of the components of the healing art movement forms included is the Feldenkrais Method, which inspired the 5 stages exercise.

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Nia 5 stages
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The Nia 5 Stages is an integrative movement practice based on the five stages of human development: Embryonic, Creeping, Crawling, Standing and Walking. Practiced with awareness, these stages have the power to facilitate optimal alignment, improved function and comfort in the body. Whether practiced at length or for as little as five minutes a day, this system provides a tool for reclaiming and sustaining mobility, flexibility, strength, agility and stability.

Basically, the story I remember was that Moshé Feldenkrais became immobile and reached self-healing by studying newborn babies, observing how they with very fine movements become aware of their bodies, muscles and bones, and gradually increase their ability to move and develop as human beings. Imagine that you are a baby in the womb of your mother. Supported, warm, fed. Moving in water. Use your imagination, be curious about your body, explore and seak awareness of all parts and see what you need to do to move through the five stages above. What are the emotions that arise in the different stages? The Nia Technique book elaborate a little bit on the excursive on page 306-308 for further reference.

This was one of the most profound exercises during my Nia White Belt teacher training in San Diego. Today Nia have developed a certification program for this movement practice alone!  If you want to find out more about that or to find a class in your area – check out the Nia website. This passed Monday Nia was featured in San Francisco Chronicle. I just need to add – Nia needs to be experienced to get it. For those of you who live in San Francisco – go to the Nia Jam tomorrow Oct 4th at UC Berkeley. Soon I will arrange for my favorite teacher Rocco from San Diego to come up and teach – that will be another treat.

And by the way – the five stages are pretty much as the reversed evolution of a photographer below… add that exercise and you can loop back in!

3. Pose that can bridge to action

The more advanced pose after bridge pose is the Upward Bowl or Wheel Pose: Urdhva Dhanurasana. I hear Rusty’s comments from the evening yoga classes “if you don’t won’t to stay up late tonight, don’t do this one [pose], it will give you energy”. Now, I don’t recommend to go straight into an upward bowl pose – the you can risk being stuck in a dead man’s pose even longer – but incorporate the pose in your daily yoga routine. Starting out with warming up your body in a few sun salutations would probably be a nice segway.

Here are the benefits that the Yoga Journal lists for the Upward Bowl pose:

  • Strengthens the arms and wrists, legs, buttocks, abdomen, and spine
  • Stretches the chest and lungs
  • Stimulates the thyroid and pituitary
  • Increases energy and counteracts depression
  • Therapeutic for asthma, back pain, infertility, and osteoporosis

These would be my personal tips and recommendations for a roadmap back to creativity, healing and activity. However, we are all different, and the bottom line is to listen to your body, get active your body’s way, and do what feeds your soul.

And finally, to rise from a Dead Man’s Pose: roll over to your right, put your right arm under your head for support and bend your knees in a comfortable position. Rest here for a while. Take a moment to think of an individual in your surrounding to whom you would dedicate your yoga practice, or for whom you would want to rise up, be present with and support. Slowly – your body’s way – bring your self up to a seated and standing position. Thank you for being here. Now, the practice of yoga begins – bring it to the world!

Enjoy,
Johanna

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Dead Man Attracts Love September 10, 2009

Welcome! I thought I would become a journalist – what do you think of my headline? Seriously, please read on – there lies something in it, as we would say in Swedish…

I started writing this last time I came back from yoga. Relaxed and happy – the session ended with a nice Savasana – dead man’s pose. Apparently it is the most challenging pose of them all, although it’s the one that seems the easiest. B.K.S. Iyengar wrote: deadmanspose

In this asana the object is to imitate a corpse. Once life has departed, the body remains still and no movements are possible. By remaining motionless for some time and keeping the mind still while you are fully conscious, you learn to relax. This conscious invigorates and refreshes both body and mind. But it is much harder to keep the mind than the body still. Therefore this apparently easy posture is one of the most difficult to master.

Keeping the mind still. It is good to practice. Not only to learn to relax, and refresh your body and mind, but also to allow things to happen. As Rusty put it at that time: “the biggest favor we sometimes can do to ourselves is to step out of our own way. To stop thinking, forcing or manipulating something to happen. Sometimes the quickest way to create what we really want is to step out of the way and let it happen.

The following evening I attended an entrepreneurship event organized by TiE – The Global Network of Entrepreneurs in Silicon Valley.  The title was “Wisdom From Past Entrepreneurs – The Dirty Little Secrets that No One Talks About” presented by the CEO Freedom Fighter Christine Comaford. Christine is a business accelerator referred by individuals such as Bill Clinton and Bill Gates. She has track record like few – check this video for a taste of her wisdom to help you as an entrepreneur avoid the mistakes that keep you overworked, underpaid, and feeling trapped by your business. As a former Buddhist monk (aside from software engineer, geisha trainee, entrepreneur and venture capitalist) one of her key tips at the end was “keep the mind still daily”. She recommended Eckhart Tolles latest books “Stillness Speaks”, and she reiterated what I have said beforeit is so often in that stillness that you find a great idea or the solution you have been looking for.

Next morning I receive an email from my leadership group where one individual shares along the same lines on a personal level:  “Awareness is just that…staying without judgment, feeling without adding shoulds, and in the end, being able to look into my own eyes and see the joy and strength and beauty of the moment – awareness of the moment is the connection to the heart…. connection to the heart is connection to everything else that exists in the Universe.  […] I have gained quite a swatch of grey hairs over the past year – and the peace I feel in my heart is allowing me to step into my role as an elder with courage and incredible enthusiasm.  While I have lost what I thought was the love of my life, I have gained what I know to be the life of my love.” So beautifully put. It made me think of the introductory words of a book I had just come across: Enchanted Love, by Marianne Williamson. “Forget logic. Forget your head. Open your heart, and come with me.” Now I am curious what more it has to say.

Dead man’s pose in reality – how attractive is that? Maybe more than you think.

With love,

Johanna

 

Who Sets the Limits? August 29, 2009

During my five years living in San Diego – nothing could beat kicking off the weekend with a 9am Saturday Nia class with Rocco Ragano at Eight Elements West. Outstanding Nia teacher and excellent dancer. Rounding it off with a Cafe Latte from Vahik’s Coffee brought down to Windansea Beach to breathe in the ocean breeze, watch the surfer pro’s and catch up on life with the girlfriends or myself. Unbeatable. Keep your eyes and ears open – Rocco will be visiting San Francisco to teach Nia this fall. I’ll let you know the details.

Rocco posted the below youtube movie on his Facebook wall. Beautiful and very touching. It is quite an inspiration and great reminder of: What is really possible? Who sets the limits? Take a moment to watch it!

In your situation right now – what is really important to you? What would you like to achieve or create? With a beginners mind, what do you commit to?

You set the limit. Don’t let anyone else do it. Lift the bar! You can do it!

Johanna

 

Full Stop August 22, 2009

Filed under: coaching,Entrepreneur,Health,Inspiration — Johanna C. Nilsson @ 9:17 am
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Time to reflect. I have gotten a lot of interesting and motivating comments and messages sent to me relating my blog. This one was sent yesterday, which made me want to comment.

“It is easy to be loved when one’s young, when employed, when healthy… when beautiful, when blond, when twenties, when wealthy. Actually one of the hardest thing for wealthy people is to find out who their real friends are. Who are the people around them, friends or beneficiaries of their wealth?”

Thank you for sharing! Several thoughts are coming to me as I read this and I am going to dissect this a little bit.

It is easy based on the look of things to assume that someone is young, healthy and wealthy. It is easy to assume that “love is easily accessible for them, but not for me”.

What does that assumption serve? Who is really talking – you or your gremlin? I would say that it is a limiting belief by the gremlin that would cut you short by listening to it. So please don’t. Open up for love. It is here for all of us!

And would it make a difference if that one person in reality were getting closer to the forties, gray hair and unemployment? Or is it the attitude and energy that the person is radiating that is of importance?

From that perspective I do agree on most of your points – it is probably easier to be loved when one is young, employed, healthy, beautiful and wealthy. Let me clarify my definitions when I say that: Young in mind. Employed by something you enjoy. Leading a healthy life. Beautiful soul. Wealthy at heart. We all can strive towards that.

Talking about Friends and Wealth…

I can’t personally relate to your example – but I have seen with my own eyes examples of friends disappearing when personal success or health is gone. It may be difficult – but it is the remaining friends that matter. This is another way to look at it:

To have a friend is great. But, to be a friend is the most helpful thing anyone can be. In doing so, the one who is being the friend is also the one who is for sure enjoying the friendship.

What is wealth to you? To me, being financially astute whatever amount of funds you have is far more desirable and attractive than being rich. I am not denying that money helps, but it is not the most important thing. “Rich is a matter of the heart”, as the artist and painter from La Jolla, California, Sally Huss expressed. I just visited her website, and would love to share some happy musings of hers:

clipped from www.sallyhuss.com
The accumulation of wealth looks a lot like a gathering of friends.
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What Real Wealth Looks Like
“The accumulation of wealth looks a lot like a gathering of friends.”
Better than a friend is a group of friends, the more the merrier. To gather friends is a great art. Dennis Wood is such an artist. Although Dennis has never met a stranger, he has also never met a person who was not his friend.
Dennis came to work for our company 20 years ago. It didn’t matter what he was asked to do, he figured out how to do it and do it well. But one of the best things that Dennis figured out how to do was make friends. Everyone who worked for us loved Dennis. The suppliers loved Dennis. The customers loved Dennis. UPS and Mail Clerks loved Dennis. There was not a place where Dennis went that he didn’t leave a trail of friends.
There was another interesting thing about Dennis. He had a key ring filled with keys. He was in charge of a lot of things, but there were more keys than there were things to be in charge of. The keys hung on Dennis’ belt and made their presence known as Dennis walked about.
There always seemed to me to be a correlation between the many keys and the many friends. I thought perhaps that Dennis had many answers, therefore many keys to creating friends. Maybe it was just one key – Dennis, who knew that being a friend first guaranteed that the other person in the equation was automatically captured. In this way they became a part of his inner key ring – the one around his heart.
Dennis has moved on to his own endeavors, but we are still attached with hardly a beat skipped, even though we may not speak with each other for months at a time. Dennis is one of the wealthiest people I know. And he makes me wealthier myself for having him as a friend.

clipped from www.sallyhuss.com
Your friends are your assets. Guard them well
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Count Your Friends, Count Your Assets
“Your friends are your assets. Guard them well.”
Friends are assets whose values are unknown. But they are assets for sure. I remember reading a story of a man of great wealth who lost everything he had in the great depression of 1939. At the moment the market crashed and he realized all his money was gone he remembered he had friends – and he had an idea.

Horseracing had become legal again in America and he wanted to build the finest racing establishment in the country. He no longer had financial assets, so no banks would loan him money. Instead, he took his idea and began knocking on friends’ doors. Many were not interested, but a few were, including the famous crooner Bing Crosby and the owner of one of the top racing stables, William Howard. Monies were gathered. Ranch land was purchased near the San Gabriel Mountains in California . And the magnificent Santa Anita Racetrack was created. It has been one of the primer racetracks for over 60 years and enjoyed by millions of people during that time. It came into being because a man with an idea had as his only assets, friends.

clipped from www.sallyhuss.com
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“You can find something beautiful anywhere you look, if you are looking for something beautiful.”

I remember long ago in Psychology 101 my teacher explaining how a need or intention alerted the subconscious to bring to the forefront those things that fulfilled that need or intention. The example he gave at that time was that if you were driving along a highway and became hungry, you would continually notice restaurants along the way. Naturally, that’s an easy one and one that we have all experienced. But, in the same way you can find something beautiful anywhere you look, if you are looking for something beautiful.

Right now, it is very important to look for something beautiful, something positive, something uplifting. These things are everywhere. The intention sets your sifting mechanism and the things you are looking for will be found. There is much to see and much to distract us from the better things in life. Sometimes those distractions are of the coarsest, loudest and most unseemly of things available in our realm. But we can make adjustments — change channels, change stations, change locations, change friends. As we do, we make way for the beautiful things.

The really good things are the subtle things, the sweet things, the things that lift our spirits. We need to look for them. They are there in our surroundings whether those surroundings are of nature or are filled with high rises and people.

This idea of looking for something beautiful must also be applied to ourselves. How important is it that we see our own beauty? Very. Not that we created it, but we can certainly appreciate it and find it by looking for it.

I knew a woman once who was brimming with self-appreciation. She and her husband ran a popular restaurant in Palm Desert, California. She was just beautiful! Yet her face was covered with wrinkles. She was a great skier, tennis player and swimmer and obviously, lover of the sun. Not one wrinkle covered her beauty. I always admired her because she was as she was, which was an exception to the local women who tended to try to correct every “blemish” with cosmetic surgery. Yes, it was easy to see this woman’s beauty, even if you were not looking for it.

When I look in the mirror, I could see only the wrinkles on my face. But then, I would miss the light in my eyes or the underlying beauty of the life that is within that is forever working towards well-being. So, I honor that life by smiling at this hidden beauty.

You can always find something beautiful anywhere you look, if you are looking for something beautiful because it is looking for you.

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How To Get Your Man (or Woman)
“If you wish to have a love in your life, because you wish you will. And because you know this is true, smile until you do.”

There are too many people out there without a close friend or a loved one in their life. Yet as life on the outside gets tougher, colder and more demanding, the needs of the heart become even greater.

We all need warmth and we need to share our warmth. The sun in the sky warms us on the outside, of course, but it is the sun on the inside that really warms us. It is the sun in our own hearts that likes to shine, expand and share its contents. It also likes to receive the same. Why not? That’s the way we are constructed. A heart is not meant to languish. It needs to be used and exercised. Love is the answer.

Why are there so many people without love in their lives? Too busy? No! Too disconnected? No! Too discouraged? No! Too unworthy? Not really! Too afraid of rejection or being hurt? Not buying it! It is forgetfulness!! They’ve just forgotten how to use the heart. Again, love is the answer.

Love first and all good things will come to you, including that special person to be in love with. That’s the thing: be in love right here, right now.

What about love? Love is that effervescent feeling that wafts from the heart, leaving you on top of the world and better for it. The beauty of the heart is that it is so close. Open its door and let the contents spill out. Practice on small things like a flower, a peach, a dog, then move to grander targets like a walk on the beach, a starry sky, or a heavenly concert. Beyond this, that love can grow to all sorts of things and all sorts of people, until the whole day is filled with love.

Not only is the heart close, but it is in the center of a person, more precisely, is the center of a person. So, as a person loves, he or she benefits by its emanations first and foremost. Those vibrations go through the loving person on the way to something or someone outside. That’s how to be in love. Create your own ocean of this good stuff. Let it fill every nook and cranny of yourself and then spill out to all that is around you. At that point your special person, who is meant just for you, can’t help but show up. He or she will be caught up in the stream and whirled into sight.

So there, go ahead, be in love now, and then you’ll be ready to truly be in love with. Because you know this is true, smile until you do!

Much love to you all!
Johanna

 

Wrapped in Love & Devotion August 18, 2009

Vacation is over, summer is soon gone, budget season has kicked off – the fall is here. The great thing with living in San Francisco is that the annual Indian Summer is soon to arrive (September – November is the best time to visit!) What a bonus! Also; Rusty Wells is back with some loving kick-butt yoga. Last night I attended the more mellow class.

Mellow Flow is an opportunity to connect with the interiorization of ones practice. There is a strong emphasis on connecting the breath with each and every movement and micromovement of the body. Students are invited to work as deeply as they desire. The environment is set to complement the quiet nature of this all-level flow experience. Come find yourself wrapped in love and devotion.

That can’t be wrong?! The door opens at 8pm and I am met by this heat wave from a slightly heated room filled with 100 students. The yogis are soaking wet, with a relaxed smile on their faces, people are meeting and greeting, the lounge type music is pumping in the back-ground while they leave the room and a new group of 100 students are finding their space with their mats on the floor. Yep – those classes are popular.

The class starts. It goes from heartfelt chanting to pretty intense poses. I am keenly aware that the strength that I have built up needs to be focused and present. I am wondering where or how will the feeling of being wrapped in love and devotion show up?

Suddenly I find myself in a position as if I am trying to make a knot of myself. Some kind of Marichyasana – a squat position with the left arm thrown around my bent left leg from the front side and back, and the other arm in the other direction around my back, fingers locked together in the level of my waist. Rusty guides something like: “let go of all the struggle and breathe into this place. Let go of the intensity and density. Breathe deeply, relax your jaws and smile. Open up and make space and rest in that you are exactly in the right spot right now.” Mmm… that’s what the class description related to. It totally shifted the experience.

In what situation in your daily life can this serve you?

Wrap your arms around your self and give yourself a big warm hug. Let go of any struggle, take a deep breath and know that you are exactly in the right spot, right now.

Enjoy!
Johanna

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When Life Gets Busy August 12, 2009

IMG_2238When life gets busy and starts running a little faster then yourself in terms of activities, ambitions, responsibilities, thoughts and ideas – then it’s very easy to fall out of a healthy track. It’s very easy due to the excitement or dedication to skip a meal, to eat at awkward times, to prioritize the “to do” and “just finish up” rather than the break, the fruit, the workout.

Whenever life has been too busy and there has been a sense of insufficiency or a problem unsolved my dad’s standard advice has always been: “go for a run!” Work out.

It is so true – whenever I do I come back relaxed with a sense of tiredness AND recharged, full of energy and strength – isn’t that an awesome combination?! How many times have I almost not done it, and afterwards felt like the happiest individual on earth? And how many times has THAT idea or solution come up during a run in the forest? Many. I shouldn’t need to remind myself. I’m sure you don’t need a reminder either.

With activities gearing up at my daytime job, coaching awesome clients in my spare time job, and ideas forming and contacts are being made for my future job… I do sense a need of staying close to myself in terms of routines and piece of mind. Having a structure in life that feeds you and keeps you on track can be immensely valuable. It may be going for a run, a yoga session or to the gym regularly in the morning. It may be meditating or journaling. Making sure you get your sleep. It may be cooking your own food and socializing with friends and family. It may be simplifying things and having a very tidy home. Clean car. It may be cranking up the music and releasing all your extra energy in a tribal dance in your living room!? :O

What tools or routines do you have to stay on track when life gets busy?

Johanna

 

 
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